The Odd Life of Timothy Green

 

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What It Is

A strange Disney-produced fable about an infertile couple (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton) who find a little kid (CJ Adams) in their garden.  He’s basically everything they ever dreamed of, although he has leaves growing out of his legs and seems to possess magical powers.  So, you know, not exactly what they imagined.

 

 

Oh, and it was co-produced by Ahmet Zappa, who also came up with the story idea.  I’m not even sure what to say about that.

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Pictured: Not one of Frank’s album covers

Why I Saw It

I was going to be on the radio that week, and needed another movie to review.  Later, I thought, “Why should I limit myself to just talking about how bad and weird this movie is?  I can write about it, too!”

What I Learned

– Somewhere in America, a factory worker and a museum guide can afford a big house with acreage.

– Adoption agency caseworkers are the most patient people on earth.

– Never, ever make old people laugh.

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“There were two peanuts walking down the street….”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– If you are obsessed with having a child, and one somehow appears in your home overnight, no one will bat an eyelid.  You can even enroll him in school with no questions asked.

– Nobody in this country understands soccer.

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“Just run really fast. Everyone will cheer because you’re cute.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Ugly, unwieldy pencils are the new pet rocks.

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“Why are you selling those things? They’re hideous!”